So, you want to write a book?

First off, congratulations. Writing a book is scary, and you need to be comfortable with writing a horrible first draft. But, as they say, nothing is ever written, it’s rewritten. Remember that.

Let’s jump straight in.

Times are different now. Every asshole out there thinks they can use AI to finally create that book they’ve been “thinking about for years.” Don’t do that. It’s flooding the market and making it even harder for actual authors like us to get noticed.

You’re writing a book because something is telling you to. More than likely, you started off with poetry or short stories; most people don’t jump straight into novels without some writing under their belt. You’ve spent all that time developing your unique voice. Don’t throw it away because it’s easy to use ChatGPT.

I did, if I’m being honest. Let me share my mistake so you can learn from it.

Apocalypse Manifesto is my story. I wrote it. But I leaned way too heavily on ChatGPT, and I can tell. I cringe when I pick up that book now. It took me years to develop the story - the intricacies and world-building. I wrote it out, beat by beat, then plugged it into ChatGPT saying, “Okay, in this next scene this happens…” and let it create it for me.

I even went as far as saying, “Okay, please continue,” and it went off the rails, taking it in a completely different direction. It wasn’t my story anymore, so I pulled the brakes. I ended up having to manually take over, and using ChatGPT created more work than if I’d just written it myself. It became a nightmare.

Seriously, don’t do that.

With Wrath and Remorse, I just wrote. Afterwards, I plugged it into ChatGPT asking, “Is this grammatically correct?” I used it to edit - and I’m so glad I learned from my previous mistake.

There’s another book I wrote, similar to Apocalypse Manifesto, that’s so artificial I can’t even use it. It’s not my voice, and you can tell. That one’s on the back burner until I’m ready to start from scratch. It’s a great story, but it’s not really mine.

So, to summarize: ChatGPT is a great tool for editing and brainstorming, but for the love of God, don’t have it write the book for you. You’re an author. You need to write your own book.

Keep a consistent voice.

When I was writing my first novel many years ago - back when I still did drugs - my voice was all over the place. The pacing was fucked, and it created so many problems because I wasn’t treating it with the respect it deserved. One day I’d write while high, the next while drunk, and every so often cocaine found its way up my nose. Trying to write on hallucinogens was a complete waste of time, and I think I ended up just coloring and frolicking instead.

Seriously, keep a consistent state of mind when you write. What works best for me is taking care of my errands and chores first, exercising, having a hearty breakfast with coffee, and then writing the rest of the day. Every now and then I’ll write in the evenings, but these days I’d rather just hit the ground running. I take care of everything else so it’s not a distraction. When I sit down to write, that’s all I’m focused on.

Shit, I’ll even meal prep so I don’t waste time in the kitchen. I treat writing like it’s my job and I’m clocking that over-time.

Learn the fundamentals of storytelling.

Learn the Hero’s Journey because it can be used across the board. Understand the rise and fall of conflict, pacing, tropes, three-act structure, subtext—everything. There is so much more to telling a story than the average person realizes. If you don’t put in the work first, you’ll run into structural problems later—and those are much harder to fix. Learn from my mistakes and don’t let arrogance get in the way. Soak up as much knowledge as you can before you type page one.

Learn from the masters.
I’ve watched tons of interviews with authors I admire, and they’ve given great advice. One of my favorite lines is from Bret Easton Ellis: “If you’re going to censor yourself, you might as well get into advertising.”

That’s so damn true. Just be authentic. Write the story you want to write and don’t worry about appeasing everyone. Personally, I hate stories that try to appeal to everyone. It ends up being generic, watered-down bullshit. Just write your story and trust that it’ll find your audience.

Don’t take too much time off while you’re writing.

This is the problem I’m having right now.

I’m simultaneously trying to market my previous books while writing a new one, and it’s not going well. When I write, that’s all I do. It’s all I think about, and I get irritated if too much time goes by without progressing in the story. Here’s why that’s a problem: you start to forget the small details you wrote earlier—motifs in particular. Those small details are huge, and if you don’t constantly keep your story on your mind, you’ll start to forget them.

We’re never shooting for average. We’re trying to write the next big thing. Stories that stay with readers usually have a ton of small details that make them great. If you’re taking weeks off at a time, when you go back and re-read you might think, “Hm, why did I add that in there? Why is there so much emphasis on [whatever]?” You can easily forget that you added focus there because you were planning on bringing it back later to develop a character arc.

Stay locked in. Stay focused. Tune everything else out until you’re finished.

Then…

Edit. Edit. Edit. Edit.

Edit until you can’t even tell if it’s good anymore. Edit until you hate it. Edit until it’s the last fucking thing on earth you want to do.

My first round of editing is just for cohesion and obvious grammatical errors. Does the story make sense? Is this the story I want to tell? I once made a hard right turn and deleted over 50 pages in Wrath and Remorse because I decided to take it in a completely different direction. I’m glad I did—it’s a much better story now. Don’t be afraid to lobotomize your baby if you think you can get something better out of it.

Second round of editing: overall flow. Do I have to read a sentence multiple times because it’s worded funny? Can I simplify it?

Third: pacing. Rise and fall of conflict. Am I spending too much time on a scene that doesn’t add much to the overall story? Is it dragging? Does it absolutely have to be there, or is it just filler? This is where I do most of my cutting.

Fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh rounds: subtext, motifs, tropes, symbolism, and any missed opportunity to add layers. I spend most of my editing time right here.

The last couple rounds are essentially just reading it while hunting for grammatical errors and any last-second changes I want to make.

Writing a novel is no joke.

Don’t think for a second this is going to be easy just because your friends like your poetry and you got good grades in English. Do you know story structure - yes or no? You’re going to be completely humbled during this process. The reason I promote Wrath and Remorse over Apocalypse Manifesto is because I worked way harder on Wrath. It’s my baby. I wrote it until I hated it, until I concluded, “This is the absolute best I can do.”

Every artist needs to know when to put down the paintbrush, my friend. And it’s different for all of us.

Writing the book is the easy part.

No, I’m not joking. Unless you win the lottery and land an agent or manager who can hoist your book up to immediate fame, you’re going to have to do all the work yourself. After all that work I put into Wrath, do you know how many copies I sold in the first three months?

Six.

That’s enough to buy a pack of smokes and a couple of beers. For a year’s worth of work. I did the math: I sunk 500 hours into that book and got a royalty deposit of 24 dollars.

This is something I could talk about all day, but it’s already getting long. Maybe I’ll do a part two.